


Speaking the Same Language

by KJGooding



Series: Post-Canon Trill Revival [3]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: F/F, Gen, M/M, Post-Canon Cardassia, Reconciliation, Relationship Negotiation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 23:55:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18398939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KJGooding/pseuds/KJGooding
Summary: Even after separating, in every sense of the word, Ezri Tigan and the symbiont Dax have a pull on Julian.  But when his help is needed on two different planets, he needs to step back and prioritize his new relationship with Elim and Kelas.





	Speaking the Same Language

"Am I correct in assuming Ambassador Dax and... Captain Tigan..." Elim read the phrasing directly from the communique, "will be conducting their visits separately?" 

"In a sense," Julian said, with a rakish smile and a slight inclination of one brow.  "Although I expect they're both going to want to speak to me."

"Will they indeed," Elim remarked, teasingly but not unkindly. 

He and Julian were alone, for the time being, resting in the sauna, buried deep in the basement of the  _Rekess_ mansion.  Ordinarily, Elim was not fond of basements, but after the day he had endured at work, a heating tray and a long conversation was all Julian could prescribe.  Kelas was still finishing up at work at the medical center, where Julian was enlisted as perpetually 'on call,' but was rarely needed; in their stubbornness, Kelas often stayed late in his place, unless there was a true emergency. 

For now, things were slow.  The winter trimester had just begun at the university where Julian taught, and it was rare for any Cardassian to venture out of their home for anything non-essential.  Elim continued volunteering to feed and clothe those in need, but the weather took its toll on him.  Thick clouds of dust and residual smoke still kept out a good deal of sunlight, and semi-holographic saunas were the best place in which to spend one's leisure time.  

"Oh, yes," Julian replied.  "I told them winter was the best time for a visit, if they wanted to see me for more than a few minutes."

"And will your daughter be accompanying her other parents?"

Julian had been holding his padd over both of them, as they rested on their backs on a heated rock.  Now, though, he drew it further into his own space, reading the last few lines silently to himself then setting it aside. 

"Yes," he said. 

Elim allowed himself a private little smile, and turned to tuck his chin over Julian's shoulder. 

"Humans do grow at  _alarming_ rates, don't they," Elim mused.  "I'd better start on a new jumper for her now; I can't imagine my last design fits anymore."

"Trill humanoids grow faster than humans do, actually.  They start with a gestation period of only s--"

Elim rolled his eyes, but since Julian could not see this, he accompanied the gesture with a bored-sounding sigh.  Julian copied the sound right back to him - and unwittingly, the eye-roll - and playfully nudged Elim's middle. 

"Well, then," Julian said, "what would  _you_ prefer we talk about?"

"I was planning to ask about Ambassador Dax's interest in our Reconstruction efforts, prior to your anatomy lesson."

"Oh, the usual.  Something about balancing history with future ambition.  It's given the same lecture on Kronos twice this year, in fact."

"Mm," Elim said, partially satisfied with the answer.  "And you're going to interpret for it, I imagine?"

Julian shrugged, jostling Elim's chin out of place before promptly apologizing and reaching to reset it.  Elim would endure any inconvenience for such gentle attention, and both of them knew it, and indulged it often. 

"Yes, I think so.  Ezri is here on Starfleet business; I don't think she'll have time.  And last I heard from Dax, I had to talk it down from temporary Joinings."

"Oh?" Elim said softly, hoping his short interruption would earn a much longer explanation.  How was he to heal his resolve, anyway, if Julian wasn't going to  _talk_?

That had been the original prescription - a long conversation to spark Elim's curiosity after a long day of thankless monotony - and Julian did not disappoint. 

"Yes," Julian said.  "I don't know if I've told you, but very early in their symbiotic evolution, Trill symbionts could simply coil themselves around a humanoid's wrist in order to share their thoughts and memories.  The symbiotic nerve developed to speed the process, and it was in the wrist, first, before Trill experienced a global cooling trend.  Then it was warm pools, or warmth from  _inside the humanoid body_ , and that was all the symbionts could survive in."

"Yes, I see," Elim said, hoping for more. 

"So, in Dax's case, it wanted to be able to Join externally, temporarily, so it could give these lectures."

"That somewhat goes against the message it intends to preach, doesn't it?" Elim asked, intrigued. 

"Exactly," Julian said, approvingly touching Elim's arm.  "Ezri told it what a terrible idea that was, and that I would, er... she told it that I would refuse to make any physical modifications to it, which might allow it to Join that way.  And she was absolutely right."

"Of course.  It does have a certain... disingenuous quality to it, doesn't it?"

"Right," Julian said, lightening his tone.  "And obviously I'll take your expert opinion, as far as that goes."

"Mm-hmm."

At this point, Elim lifted his chin and turned his body over so he was facing the rock-lined wall, instead of his Bonded.  Julian rarely disputed the lack of eye contact, and instead compensated by reaching to settle his arm over Elim's midsection.  Their hands often met there, brushing with a warm familiarity Julian never would have dreamed of, if he had been asked about it any more than a few years ago.  When he and Elim first met, perhaps, it might have occurred as a fantasy, but the thought of intimacy took a long, long hiatus from Julian's mind, after that. 

After a moment, Elim spoke again. 

"And what business will Captain Tigan be conducting," he asked, "if not chaperoning her former symbiont?"

"Chaperoning her former husband, I'd think," Julian replied without missing a beat.  "Now that she's had Dax removed successfully, of  _course_ Starfleet is more receptive to hearing my perspective on our research."

"Of course they are," Elim agreed wholeheartedly.  "I've been telling you that for years - haven't I, dear? - that the Federation is not  _actually_ interested in improving welfare on a planetary scale.  They're more hung up on trivialities than any individual I've ever met, present company included."

"Why thank you," Julian sighed. 

"Perhaps I was referring to myself," Elim tutted his tongue.  "So self-centered, it's a wonder I agreed to Bond with you at all."

"You don't mean that, that's a lie," Julian said.  When an answer was not immediately forthcoming, he prodded Elim's stomach with one finger, then two, then squeezed a whole handful of the tiny bit of fat there, lining Elim's hip. 

Elim changed the subject, veering back toward his original course. 

"But they will be arriving at the same time, all three of our guests?"

"Yes, I expect so.  Dax or Rali could hardly fly themselves over."

"Fine,  _fine,_ " Elim relented to the sarcasm.  "I merely want to be prepared."

***

The meeting room was fastidiously clean and dimly lit, as one might expect from a former courtroom in Cardassia City.  

"This shouldn't take long," Ezri said, dusting her hands along her uniform as she sat down at the conference table, opposite Julian. 

"You've already recorded most of the information, then?"

Curtly, Ezri shook her head. 

"No, I'm here as a neutral third-party, actually."

"Neutral?  Hmm," Julian glanced up at the ceiling, not fully convinced.  "Who am I to argue with Starfleet Command's legal phrasing?"

That earned a quiet laugh from Ezri, and Julian felt a bit better.  But, in the same moment, he felt he understood the Federation's definition.  Ezri was not anyone he ever met, not  _really_.  If they were prepared to listen to both species from Trill, one of their faithful member planets, then surely they were prepared to accept each type as free-thinking equals.  Julian Bashir and Ezri Tigan had met only for a few minutes, after he finished removing the symbiont, and her anesthesia-laced memory of their meeting was cloudy, at best.  Therefore, it was Dax that Julian knew, and became involved with, and married and rescued.  And Ezri, somehow, was neutral. 

"You have to understand, Doctor, I don't really remember it," Ezri said.  "I mean, I know who you are, and I have some memories of the time we knew each other, but a lot of the feeling and motivation Dax gave me is gone."

"Yes, um,  _Captain_.  I understand," Julian said, off-guard.  He  _did_ understand, though, and it did not feel good.  "You're not... I'm sorry.  Does it feel like Dax and I took advantage of you?"

"No, no, not at all," Ezri assured.  "Dax was like a patient I helped rehabilitate, and you've been nothing but kind to me since I got to DS9 in the first place.  Both of you are still a part of my family, I wouldn't change that at all.  I didn't let Dax walk all over me, you know that.  I'm sure I made my own decisions."

"Mmm," Julian gave a non-committal sigh.  "So you just... need me to explain the surgical procedure?"

"That's right.  Everyone on the Committee has adapted well to the eosin printing process; I explained that, myself."

"So is this for the Federation, or the Committee?"

"As of right now, they're one and the same," Ezri said, her confident tone bordering on sharp.  "I'm a  _provisional_ captain, and my term to stabilize the Trill government is up at the end of the year.  I have three officers who want to Disjoin before then, in case the Federation changes their mind."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I'm not proof of anything, Doctor.  I wasn't conditioned for Joining to start with.  Other Trill  _want_ to believe me, but Starfleet still doesn't."

"I resigned in disgrace, Ezri," Julian said, lending a single, bitter laugh to the memory.  "They're not going to any more inclined to believe  _me_.  You're a  _captain_."

"I'm thinking about resigning, myself."

"What about what you saw in the vision?  With Sisko?" Julian asked. 

"I don't think I was still in Starfleet.  I was the head of something called the Commission for Mutual Symbiosis.  You performed other Disjoinings, I had other party-members who shared my experience.  I can't get there without you."

"So this isn't for Starfleet," Julian worked the solution out aloud, "it's a personal favor...?"

"Yeah.  Would you do that... for me?"

"Of course," Julian set his chin atop the back of one folded hand, "I'd do almost anything for you."

***

"I'm sorry, Elim.  It's only a few more months," Julian said with very little conviction, staring into his shelf in their shared wardrobe.  

Meanwhile, Elim was sitting on his own side of their shared mattress, frowning as he adjusted his sleeve-cuffs to obsessive perfection.  Together, they were taking Rali, Ezri, and Dax to dinner at one of New-Cardassia's finer establishments.  Elim had been looking forward to it, until learning Julian was planning to take up residence on Trill long enough to conduct another handful of Disjoining procedures.  The news had rather soured the evening, as far as Elim was concerned. 

"You've barely settled in," Elim protested, from his seat. 

"I know, I  _know_."

"You'll also know how long I've spent feeling inferior to Ms. Dax, in all of her incarnations."

Julian sighed and then turned around slowly. 

"I'm... alright," Julian said, pushing both hands down at his sides.  "It isn't for Starfleet, it isn't even really for  _her_."

"Technicalities aside," Elim muttered.  "I do not think it's unreasonable for me to ask you to stay, as the immediate danger to Trill has passed."

"So has the immediate danger to Cardassia.  Until I can train other surgeons, there aren't any alternatives."

Elim went quiet, and remained that way for the duration of their stroll to the restaurant, regardless of the way Julian reached to link their arms together, squeezing Elim's hand apologetically every few steps.  

"I love you, you know," Julian said quietly, leaning in close to Elim's ear.  "You don't have to worry that I won't come back."

Elim took the consolation to himself, and did not comment.  He let Julian lead him along the row of rebuilt storefronts until they reached their destination.  Inside, Ezri was already waiting for them, with Rali standing beside her, holding her hand.  Ezri also clutched Dax's portable chamber close to her chest, balancing it over her hip at an awkward angle.  

Nodding graciously, Elim invited her to precede him, as the group made their way to their table.  When she appeared so hobbled - not  _helpless_ , but struggling and resilient - it made it easier for Elim to view her through a lens of compassion, something Julian happened to wear at full intensity.  

_There is an alternative_ , Elim thought to himself as he held the back of Ezri's chair out and waited for her to be seated.  It was another habit he acquired secondhand from Julian, another he tried to make his own improvements on.  

Like the compassion. 

Being a Cardassian establishment, Elim was at an advantage as far as comfort.  It was dimly lit and modernly outfitted, with computer terminals installed for guest use, and clean, geometric-patterned furniture arranged in private semi-circles.  He was able to look back and forth between Ezri and Julian with ease.  

Elim sat quietly, politely, and placed his dinner order on the table computer while Julian watched him.  Upon glancing up, Elim realized that Rali was watching him also.  And so, presumably, was Dax, who bubbled and rocked gradually back and forth inside its container. 

"I thought, perhaps, a shared tray of jellied  _haska_ leaves might be appreciated," Elim said, with partial honesty.  

"Thank you, Mr. Garak," Ezri said, with a level of formality Elim was accustomed to using, but not receiving in return.

Rali, meanwhile, was fast becoming bored with her own padded chair, and stretched her arms out in the direction of Julian, who scooped her up with ease, and settled her in his lap.  It was Elim's turn to watch and feel out of place, on dozens of different co-occurring levels.  He was trying hard not to - not to feel consumed with both jealousy and envy - but a familiar, insincere tone came bubbling up from the depths of his chest, and he spoke words even he did not believe. 

"You might prefer to remain on Trill permanently," he said, catching Julian's eyes. 

Ezri interrupted before Julian could open his mouth to argue. 

"Doctor, you... you mean you didn't discuss it with your partner first?" she asked, leaving her mouth agape.  

"Well, you hardly left me a chance, in the two minutes between explaining the situation and asking me the favor," Julian argued, sounding faint of heart.  "I mean I'd... I'm prepared to go wherever my help is needed, but I can't be in two places at once.  Elim and I discussed it."

"Afterward," Ezri assumed, after taking a look at Elim's facial expression, regardless of how trained it was to remain set in perpetual neutrality. 

"Yes," Elim confirmed.

"Doctor, I don't want to keep you from your family here," Ezri said. 

Julian gave an exasperated sigh and tossed his hands.  Rali copied the gesture, minus the sound, and then so did Julian, at his own reluctance for his young daughter to see him get upset. 

" _You're_ my family  _there_ ," Julian said, feeling silly.

"Mr. Garak and Doctor Parmak would certainly be allowed to accompany you," Ezri went on.  "I'm sure I could arrange housing with a volunteer from the provisional council."

"This isn't working," Julian said to himself.  "There's too much  _space_."

"Could the candidates for the procedure come to Cardassia?" Elim offered.  "I could find them temporary housing with similar ease, Captain."

"I don't see why not," Ezri replied.  "Would that be better for you, Doctor?"

"' _Julian_ ,'" Julian sighed.

"Would that be better for you, Julian?" she repeated.  "Then you and I wouldn't need to see each other at all.  That might be for the best."

Elim furrowed the corners of his brow-ridges, aware of the angle Ezri was taking.

"I harbor no feelings of malice toward you, Captain," Elim said, through his teeth.  "In fact, I am grateful for the role you played in facilitating my reunion with Doctor Bashir, on friendlier terms than we had parted.  What I am frustrated with is merely his  _insatiable_ need to feel useful, as it is a trait I share.  I cannot offer him a family in the same way you have, and it is only natural for him to feel absence, where he has become accustomed to  _presence_."

Julian glared down at the top of the table, and cautiously patted the back of Rali's head with one gentle hand, afraid of slamming it against the table otherwise.  Her hair was kept short like her mother's, and she did not mind having it played with.  She learned this from Kelas, in fact, and the brief time she had spent living in their home and picking at their braids.  Julian found the words he wanted while he moved his fingers, relieved that the twisting motion made Rali giggle.

"I'm right here, Elim.  If you want to discuss it,  _let's_ do that.  I don't like to be talked about as if I'm not here and I see what you’re trying to do. I’m sorry."

"I understand all too well.  Forgive me," Elim said. 

Julian did so with a nod, and then - struck by the same inspiration - he looked to Dax, who swam up toward the lid of its canister. 

By now, Ezri kept a small kit of eosin dye and transfer paper with her constantly.  Julian asked for permission to use it, and smeared the paper with a few thick drops of dye just as the platter Elim had ordered was delivered to their table.  The server set it down in the center, but it remained there, ignored, until Dax's opinion was counted. 

"Could you slow down?" Julian pleaded with the symbiont in a kind voice, like he was teasing an old friend.  

When the thin paper was pressed against the wall of Dax's enclosure, the dye droplets would form Trill letters; Dax's standard bio-luminescent activity caused a reaction with the dye, and allowed it to be manipulated to convey Dax's intended message. 

"That's right," Julian said, as he read from the transfer paper, "we  _were_ originally going to perform your separation at the medical center in Cardassia City, yes.  It is state-of-the-art, absolutely."

Rali was always captivated when Dax spoke, and she leaned in to watch more closely.  So did Ezri, recognizing this as something she and Julian would always have in common. 

"That's right, Dax, of course," Ezri read along diligently, "you've also--"

"--spent a great deal of time separated from your family," Julian spoke the rest of Dax's thought as it materialized on the paper.  "You have families all over the quadrant..."

"If I may," Elim said cordially, before leaning in closer to the canister.  Even though he had not yet mastered the intricacies of real-time Trill transcription, he considered it like a performance art form, and took in every detail.  

"I  _know_ ," Julian said, as some of the letters changed.  "But in my defense, you didn't exactly deal with it brilliantly, either."

The first set of dye and paper reached the end of its usefulness, with the dye soaking through the paper, leaving it a mess of discolored pulp against the side of the canister.  Ezri reached to prepare another set, but Dax swam away from the side of the tank; it was done with its speech for now. 

"Th-that would be fine," Julian decided, in reference to the dialogue only he and Ezri had understood.  "It isn't that I don't want to see you anymore, Ezri, or that I don't think we can work alongside each other... I'd just prefer to... stay where I am..."

"I understand.  It's nice to  _know_ where you want to be for a change, isn't it?  To feel like you belong."

Feeling equally consoled, Julian nodded while Elim merely smiled behind the cover of his hand, as he brought one of the jellied leaves toward his mouth to taste. 

"They're... best when they're warm," Elim explained, promptly turning Julian's grin into a grimace.  "Would the young Ms. Tigan-Bashir like to try one, hmm?"

He looked to Rali and offered his once-bitten square of jelly forward for her to inspect.  Scooting to the edge of Julian's lap, she was able to reach it easily, and took the whole thing in her hands, letting it slide back and forth between each one.  While she was still settling on an expression and reaction, Kelas arrived at their table, out of breath from their dash from the medical center.  

"Ezri, Rali," they said kindly, as they sat down in the empty chair beside Elim.  "I hope I haven't kept you waiting too long.  It's wonderful to see you again.  Are you well?"

"Yes, Doctor.  Thank you," Ezri said for both of them. 

Relying on an old instinct, Kelas reached to untie their hair from its knot behind their back.  They wore it out of the way for work, but knew Rali enjoyed playing with it.  Julian was becoming more and more comfortable with both of his partners, communicating without needing to vocalize every thought that crossed his mind, so he scooped up Rali under both arms and deposited her in Elim's lap, giving her easier access to Kelas.  Julian was quiet, but he certainly  _looked_ happy - even peaceful - and truly at home in his surroundings. 

"I'll put in for our next course," Elim said brightly.

"Thank you, Mr. Garak," Ezri said, sounding professional but slightly out-of-place. 

Julian could hear this, and reached for her hand on the tabletop, giving her wrist a quick and reaffirming brush.  

"I would've thought this was... strange, myself, if you'd asked me a decade ago," he said.  

Kelas was sitting with a dappled, alien toddler between their seat and Elim's, arranging their hair.  Elim was quiet, but also friendly and more consistently truthful than ever before.  And then, of course, there was a symbiont in a bucket alongside its ex-host - two individuals Julian knew well in certain contexts, and quite poorly in others.  It depended entirely on how they were combined, whether in terms of physicality or history, and Julian still felt an immense fondness for each of them, despite their separation. 

 "I didn't know anything, then," Julian admitted, causing Elim to squint at him in confusion.  "It was all... romanticized notions of alien customs I didn't understand."

"You still do that, you know," Elim said.  "The romanticizing, I mean, but what you don't know, you now endeavor to learn."

"Hmm," Julian sighed thoughtfully, and took one of the leaves from the center plate to sample.  

"We'll stay in touch," Ezri promised, while Julian ate.  "I'll submit patient details as soon as I get back to my ship.  And we'll stay in touch after that, too."

"Yes, definitely," Julian grinned.  "I think that will work just fine."


End file.
